Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Scene from a Silent Movie: Playground Kingdom

EXT. PLAYGROUND - DAY
The black top’s dark expanse looms before us. Light up sneakers strike the pavement as they skip over the whizz of jump ropes. Singsong chants and chatter infiltrate the air.
A lunch aid finishes painting her toe nails and lays back in a lounge chair to let them dry. She puts in headphones and places cucumbers on her eyes. She wears a yellow pin that says “minimum wage minimum effort.”
A shadow creeps towards a neon hopscotch area where children play in blissful ignorance. The shadow blankets the children and they turn, cringing in fear as they see:
Two heavy boots stomp into the picture. The boots pause for effect, and as they walk up to the hopscotchers we see they’re attached to baggy, camouflage pants. A bulky hand adorned with fake plastic “pimp” jewelry shoots out towards the kids. They collectively jump back before obediently handing over their lunch money one at a time in a single file line.
The hands belong to KARL, an imposingly overweight bully with a sloppy Mohawk and the onset of premature mustache syndrome. He smiles, revealing a set of mossy teeth.
EXT. BASKETBALL COURT - DAY
A few fourth graders goof around as they play pickup basketball. TIMMY, a short, spectacle clad, nerd raises his arms for a pass, waving them above his head. As if to say “look at me, I’m open!”
His classmates stampede past him from left to right as Timmy screams down court. Timmy points, demonstrating that he has isolated a gaping hole in the defense.
Ignoring him, they stampede past towards the opposite basket. Realizing it’s no use; he jogs with a charmingly uncoordinated gate.
Then the impossible happens. A rebound knocks off of a tall kid’s head, past the outstretched arms of the capable players, and rolls up to Timmy’s feet. He picks it up like a hand grenade.
KIDS
: Shoot! Shoot the ball!
Timmy squares up and musters the most confident face he can find. All is quiet, but the silence is broken by the heavy thud of boots. The shadow creeps, the children stare, Karl glares, Timmy is ready; this is his glorious moment.
He leaps and soars upward; his dream an imminent reality! He goes up, up, up until:
Karl’s large hands crash down from behind and clamp onto Timmy’s shoulders, revealing he had only been a foot off the ground.
Karl snatches the ball and throws a pulverizing shoulder slam, knocking Timmy to the ground and breaking his glasses before laying in an easy basket. Timmy begins blubbering.
KARL: 
Oh I’m sorry, did I hurt you?
Timmy nods, snot running down his nose. Karl reaches out his hand and helps him up. He pats him on the back and dusts him off.
KARL (CONT’D)
Ya know I just hate to see you like
this buddy, you’re really getting banged up out there.
He places one arm over Timmy’s shoulder and the other produces the school handbook. He waves it in his face as he speaks.
KARL (CONT’D)
Have you ever read the school
handbook? Timmy shakes his head no.
KARL (CONT’D)
Well on page 6 the handbook clearly
states that, wait one sec I got it book marked here. That “each and every student should be mindful of endangering themselves and others.”
He chucks the book, hitting some random third grader in a dinosaur shirt in the head. He lets out a wimpy scream as his eyes bulge and he falls flat on his face.
KARL (CONT’D) 
Now it would be irresponsible of me
to allow you to continue to place yourself in such
(he uses hand quotes) “Dangerous situations that seriously undermine the goals of a positive learning environment.”
TIMMY
 Uhmm, thanks, but how could you
possibility do that?
KARL 
Oh well that’s simple, chum! You
aren’t going to play basketball anymore.
TIMMY 
But the only reason I got hurt just
now is because you knocked me over.
KARL 
And whose to say I won’t do it
again? You really just can’t trust people these days. But I’ll tell you what, I don’t want you feeling left out because that would just
(hand quotes)
“exacerbate” the situation. So if you can’t play, then no one can.
He throws the ball up and punts it high over the school.
KARL (CONT’D) See ya in class losers!


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